Compassion noun – sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it
One of the most critical lenses I use is compassion. It’s an imperfect lens imperfectly applied. Like everyone, I have moments where I should have been far more compassionate and plenty of moments where I hope that others had enough compassion for me.
I’ve written about why I don’t engage in climate debates. Beyond protecting my one non-renewable resource (time), my other reason (excuse?) is compassion.
Many things make the topic of climate change (the climate crisis, the Anthropocene, the 6th Great Extinction, sustainability, etc. ) challenging. I mean, how much is encapsulated in that last sentence? Your entire life. Your legacy. Your unbroken genetic lineage. The fate of your species. The future of literally trillions of lives, human and otherwise.
For a species that notoriously struggles with scale (for example, the difference between a million and a billion), we’re in danger of triggering an extreme reach barrier. More simply, we’re rubbing up against fear, guilt, and sadness. There is a whole web of secondary emotions, triggers, and reactions.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes grief’s five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). I’m not a psychologist, but I think the word “stages” was poorly chosen, only because we believe we can complete a stage. We all know someone who is stuck in one of these stages, sometimes their whole life. The topic of climate change can trigger any/all of the five.
Finally, western culture tends to have a poor relationship with death (which, to me, says a lot about our approach to life).
Layering all of these perspectives together is where compassion becomes so critically important. When we talk about climate change, we’re mashing a LOT of buttons. I might think I’m sharing a few facts, or climate news, or attempting to “educate.” The vast majority of the time, you’re frying someone’s emotional circuits. They’re thinking about their:
- Contribution
- Future
- Past
- Family
- Career
- Legacy
- Safety/security
- Favorite places, foods, views, animals
- Contribution to future generations
As I try to describe this, I keep imagining explosive or uncontrolled decompression—the sudden structural failure of an idea or even identity.
The compassionate part of all of us should empathize and even sympathize with the emotions that bubble up here. We’re challenging the lizard brain. We’re hardwired to support our progeny (at the population-level), to protect our collective genetic material in a way that it can continue to be expressed.
We also know that hard conversations, especially conversations that relate to survival, need to happen. We’ve all given the sharp safety bark. Warning a driver, catching a friend on a walk or hike, or moving a precarious knife in the kitchen.
The unfortunate thing about climate change is that we’re not talking about an immediate safety concern. We’re often talking about an array of lifestyle choices. Something more akin to nutrition, exercise, self-care, or substance abuse. We’ve all seen this in some form, and I think we all know how hard these conversations are. We rarely take the time and effort to intervene fully, we sometimes make a light-hearted joke or proclamation or talk behind someone’s back, and we mostly ignore. Some of this is cultural, and for me, a lot of it is capacity. I probably don’t have the resources (skills, training, or material) to help. I think we’ve had all this moment of impotence, and it’s sad to see someone in your circles suffering.
Now think of all the tact, professionalism, composure, humility, and patience a talented psychologist, therapist, addiction counselor, dietician, personal trainer, bar-tender, or friend enters into a difficult lifestyle conversation. There is so much personalization.
- Active listening
- compassion in the sequencing
- picking meaningful battles
- Understanding in the journey
- building confidence and celebrating small wins
- Sharing tools, lens, or approaches
- Reframing personal truths
Is this how you talk about climate change? With this much skill? Compassion? Love?
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